








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 739 | 23% |
| Smokes | 803 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 750 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 872 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,542 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 52% | 50 |
| #7 | SulppeZ | 50% | 10 |
| #8 | Musta Kaapo | 50% | 14 |
| #9 | Hullu_Aimi | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | Orake | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POMMITTAJA LATIFA | 13 | 0.0146 |
| #2 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 10 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Hullu_Aimi | 7 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | SulppeZ | 7 | 0.0343 |
| #5 | 240kg peek | 2 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | POMMITTAJA LATIFA | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 118 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hullu_Aimi | 117 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sakuzii | Xtrfy | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Musta Kaapo | 45 | 0.16 | 1 min |





