










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1447 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1021 | 30% |
| Smokes | 969 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 769 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,034 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | β‘β‘K4PLT3CKO δΉ‘ | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | -MΓ‘raas2k | 36% | 14 |
| #12 | ππ π«ππ π€<π | 32% | 19 |
| #13 | VΓ‘clav "co2" SvΓ‘ΕeΔ | 26% | 19 |
| #14 | Churaq vavr1s | 11% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | γ β§β§Khajitko | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | ππ π«ππ π€<π | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Mouzi | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Δ. Karkulka DakYY.... | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Churaq vavr1s | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VΓ‘clav "co2" SvΓ‘ΕeΔ | 92 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | ππ π«ππ π€<π | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | -MΓ‘raas2k | 41 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mio | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Astro π’.π΅.π’γ | 40 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | βͺ TuciK | +4.40 | 93 | 39 |
| #2 | Mio | +4.05 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | γ β§β§Khajitko | +3.27 | 92 | 59 |
| #4 | soltix | +0.16 | 68 | 41 |
| #5 | Δ. Karkulka DakYY.... | +0.11 | 93 | 53 |





