








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4970 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3753 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2525 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2688 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $449,852 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEYOAN | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | thom | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | patatyzN ;) | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | Probrema | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | foqa | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 51% | 186 |
| #7 | gordaime$$ | 50% | 82 |
| #8 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 45% | 127 |
| #9 | Dja | 35% | 23 |
| #10 | Baden | 21% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foqa | 28 | 0.0216 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 19 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 17 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | gordaime$$ | 9 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | HEYOAN | 8 | 0.0157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 860 | 0.32 | 19 min |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 599 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | foqa | 238 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | gordaime$$ | 186 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | Probrema | 86 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foqa | +2.65 | 68 | 55 |
| #2 | STARHeX | +2.16 | 72 | 77 |
| #3 | HEYOAN | +1.35 | 53 | 59 |
| #4 | gordaime$$ | +1.24 | 59 | 63 |
| #5 | Probrema | +0.94 | 58 | 65 |





