










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 486 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,266 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11436 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1904 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 6401 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5525 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,688 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dja | 52% | 29 |
| #2 | HEYOAN | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 45% | 161 |
| #4 | STARHeX | 45% | 127 |
| #5 | gordaime$$ | 44% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | gordaime$$ | 44% | 239 |
| #6 | patatyzN ;) | 42% | 66 |
| #7 | Probrema | 41% | 32 |
| #8 | foqa | 40% | 87 |
| #9 | Baden | 26% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foqa | 30 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 29 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | gordaime$$ | 26 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | STARHeX | 19 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | HEYOAN | 11 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHeX | 669 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 518 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | gordaime$$ | 517 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #4 | foqa | 388 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | Probrema | 129 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHeX | +2.25 | 71 | 77 |
| #2 | foqa | +1.88 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | HEYOAN | +1.58 | 56 | 57 |
| #4 | Probrema | +0.70 | 60 | 64 |
| #5 | gordaime$$ | +0.47 | 63 | 62 |





