








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 296 | 11% |
| Smokes | 511 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 957 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $238,773 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thom | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 35% | 49 |
| #3 | gordaime$$ | 32% | 25 |
| #4 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 26% | 35 |
| #5 | STARHeX | 21% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gordaime$$ | 32% | 25 |
| #4 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 26% | 35 |
| #5 | STARHeX | 21% | 38 |
| #6 | patatyzN ;) | 18% | 11 |
| #7 | foqa | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHeX | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | gordaime$$ | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | foqa | 2 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carai Tinki Whisqui | 258 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | 183 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | STARHeX | 169 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | thom | 128 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | gordaime$$ | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | STARHeX | +2.77 | 75 | 75 |
| #2 | foqa | +2.34 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | gordaime$$ | +1.45 | 63 | 66 |
| #4 | thom | +0.61 | 27 | 67 |
| #5 | twitch.tv/Borracher0 | +0.11 | 56 | 67 |





