








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
34 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 87 | 56% |
| Smokes | 27 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 19 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,500 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FortuneDayZ | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | sharpaxe | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | soggy bread | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Egglord | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Until111 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FortuneDayZ | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | sharpaxe | 45% | 11 |
| #3 | soggy bread | 45% | 11 |
| #4 | Egglord | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Until111 | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharpaxe | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Egglord | 1 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Until111 | 1 | 0.0141 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sharpaxe | 22 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Egglord | 18 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | soggy bread | 6 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | FortuneDayZ | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Until111 | 5 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FortuneDayZ | +2.13 | 63 | 39 |
| #2 | soggy bread | +2.08 | 66 | 41 |
| #3 | sharpaxe | +2.02 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Egglord | -0.04 | 49 | 63 |
| #5 | Until111 | -1.58 | 46 | 54 |





