








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 740 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




212 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4564 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2128 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 2853 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5631 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,796,508 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3435 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 60% | 225 |
| #2 | ratstar | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | sira | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 60% | 225 |
| #2 | ratstar | 43% | 49 |
| #3 | sira | 38% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sira | 25 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | ratstar | 14 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 12 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | 98 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #2 | ratstar | 98 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | sira | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp 4 Vampire Girlz | +6.21 | 87 | 32 |
| #2 | orange | +1.60 | 76 | 43 |
| #3 | ratstar | +0.08 | 43 | 43 |
| #4 | sira | -3.86 | 15 | 20 |





