








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1799 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2714 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2500 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3159 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,340 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | HÖNÖ | 51% | 41 |
| #3 | aatu | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Jyge | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | MoTzis | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jyge | 46% | 37 |
| #5 | MoTzis | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | beast | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | Oowerpoower | 41% | 22 |
| #8 | T41SKY | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Oowerpoower | 4 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | HÖNÖ | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Jyge | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | MoTzis | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aatu | 161 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | T41SKY | 128 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | MoTzis | 101 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | HÖNÖ | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Oowerpoower | 61 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | +6.06 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | HÖNÖ | +6.04 | 93 | 63 |
| #3 | Jyge | +2.55 | 55 | 31 |
| #4 | beast | +1.44 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | aatu | +0.90 | 69 | 76 |





