








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,490 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1277 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1661 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1175 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 377 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $532,404 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosko | 54% | 125 |
| #2 | Kev-Chan | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Borat | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Vingsoldat | 45% | 67 |
| #5 | Craig | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Borat | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Vingsoldat | 45% | 67 |
| #5 | Craig | 41% | 17 |
| #6 | Bruhm1s | 39% | 18 |
| #7 | blidam | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vingsoldat | 57 | 0.0445 |
| #2 | Bosko | 31 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Kev-Chan | 14 | 0.0262 |
| #4 | Craig | 12 | 0.0353 |
| #5 | Borat | 5 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosko | 235 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | blidam | 69 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Craig | 60 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Borat | 33 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bruhm1s | 21 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craig | +4.20 | 59 | 53 |
| #2 | Bosko | +2.17 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | NotCairo | +0.81 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Borat | -1.43 | 67 | 26 |
| #5 | blidam | -1.52 | 43 | 47 |





