








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 270 | 21% |
| Smokes | 368 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 270 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 404 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,122 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Grouchy Smurf | 33% | 18 |
| #8 | Fred | 33% | 24 |
| #9 | Webweaver | 30% | 10 |
| #10 | Borat | 23% | 13 |
| #11 | Bruhm1s | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vingsoldat | 47 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | Bosko | 13 | 0.0221 |
| #3 | Webweaver | 7 | 0.0361 |
| #4 | NotCairo | 6 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Fred | 6 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bosko | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | Grouchy Smurf | 35 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Fred | 32 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Craig | 24 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bruhm1s | 19 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Craig | +4.77 | 85 | 38 |
| #2 | Bosko | +4.03 | 75 | 46 |
| #3 | NotCairo | +3.12 | 68 | 51 |
| #4 | Grouchy Smurf | +2.55 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Borat | +1.19 | 86 | 23 |





