








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




223 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5063 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2140 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3053 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1929 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,826,657 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 371 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | 52% | 385 |
| #2 | Jones | 50% | 229 |
| #3 | aippuliini | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | lakemies | 49% | 298 |
| #5 | johnny | 48% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | 106 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | lakemies | 48 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Jones | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | johnny | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | aippuliini | 11 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | 1747 | 0.22 | 40 min |
| #2 | lakemies | 522 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Jones | 512 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | aippuliini | 203 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | johnny | 199 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | +5.27 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | J4mpe | +2.15 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | lakemies | -0.44 | 53 | 43 |
| #4 | adolf hipster | -1.14 | 55 | 46 |
| #5 | johnny | -1.63 | 52 | 41 |





