








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2903 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2254 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3510 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3600 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2598 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $971,767 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aippuliini | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | johnny | 49% | 130 |
| #3 | antttttttton | 49% | 352 |
| #4 | J4mpe | 49% | 298 |
| #5 | Jones | 46% | 205 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | 1521 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | J4mpe | 1029 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | Jones | 481 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | johnny | 197 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | aippuliini | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | +5.05 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | J4mpe | +2.25 | 80 | 48 |
| #3 | adolf hipster | +0.50 | 58 | 46 |
| #4 | lakemies | -0.35 | 55 | 45 |
| #5 | johnny | -1.13 | 56 | 45 |





