








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1503 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8646 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7984 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5430 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4587 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,982,716 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 755 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aippuliini | 56% | 55 |
| #2 | johnny | 53% | 225 |
| #3 | J4mpe | 52% | 385 |
| #4 | Jones | 51% | 372 |
| #5 | lakemies | 49% | 352 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J4mpe | 1418 | 0.18 | 29 min |
| #2 | Jones | 887 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #3 | lakemies | 601 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | johnny | 328 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | adolf hipster | 227 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | antttttttton | +5.13 | 90 | 60 |
| #2 | J4mpe | +2.02 | 80 | 48 |
| #3 | lakemies | -0.26 | 55 | 46 |
| #4 | adolf hipster | -0.96 | 51 | 43 |
| #5 | johnny | -1.65 | 58 | 44 |





