








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 721 matches | ||
| Wingman | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,267 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8903 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9106 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 6577 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5681 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,027,986 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeyJF | 53% | 68 |
| #2 | Yung lidl | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | riusamus | 51% | 174 |
| #4 | Lowmaker | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | IngeBob | 48% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lowmaker | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | IngeBob | 48% | 96 |
| #6 | ππβπ‘πΎΡππ | 48% | 884 |
| #7 | lex | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | McChicken | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππβπ‘πΎΡππ | 24 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | riusamus | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | HeyJF | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | IngeBob | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Yung lidl | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππβπ‘πΎΡππ | 871 | 0.05 | 24 min |
| #2 | IngeBob | 212 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | HeyJF | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Yung lidl | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | lex | 132 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeyJF | +2.04 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Yung lidl | +1.53 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | ππβπ‘πΎΡππ | +0.77 | 83 | 46 |
| #4 | riusamus | +0.51 | 71 | 32 |
| #5 | McChicken | +0.40 | 85 | 42 |





