










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 446 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1530 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2130 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2859 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,813,281 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 363 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StoryWorm | 50% | 129 |
| #2 | Beast | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | JakeyPoo | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | scabsmagooby | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | 样品 | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madsam | +1.71 | 60 | 48 |
| #2 | 样品 | +1.56 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | JakeyPoo | +1.16 | 62 | 56 |
| #4 | Kels | +0.48 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | StoryWorm | +0.07 | 49 | 53 |





