








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 652 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2698 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4456 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2384 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3325 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,768,261 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 564 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaka | 68% | 110 |
| #2 | MOXQUITO | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | ticoliRo | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | EldritchBoo | 53% | 134 |
| #5 | Grimpão | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Alegro | 46% | 92 |
| #12 | Vini | 45% | 38 |
| #13 | S4V4 | 43% | 21 |
| #14 | Papacu | 33% | 30 |
| #15 | Adri | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BRUXO | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | ticoliRo | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | jojo | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Alegro | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Nameless ;) | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaka | 359 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | BRUXO | 223 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | EldritchBoo | 214 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | StreakeDu | 206 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | MOXQUITO | 184 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vini | +5.17 | 67 | 52 |
| #2 | MOXQUITO | +4.36 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Kaka | +2.54 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | ticoliRo | +2.24 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | jojo | +2.08 | 61 | 58 |





