








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2059 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 298 matches | ||
| Premier | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5709 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5585 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 8424 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5658 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,294 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaka | 58% | 83 |
| #2 | MOXQUITO | 56% | 102 |
| #3 | Alegro | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Default ks | 49% | 71 |
| #5 | EldritchBoo | 49% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | EldritchBoo | 49% | 136 |
| #6 | Nameless ;) | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | ticoliRo | 43% | 40 |
| #8 | Papacu | 41% | 27 |
| #9 | BRUXO | 35% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EldritchBoo | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Kaka | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Default ks | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MOXQUITO | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | ticoliRo | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EldritchBoo | 266 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Default ks | 232 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kaka | 226 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | MOXQUITO | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | ticoliRo | 102 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOXQUITO | +4.10 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | Kaka | +2.90 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | ticoliRo | +2.56 | 61 | 58 |
| #4 | Alegro | +1.50 | 67 | 68 |
| #5 | StreakeDu | -0.13 | 50 | 76 |





