








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4947 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3713 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1842 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2556 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $432,354 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1092 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โ๐ท๐Ferka๐โ๐ธ | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | Joltiโ | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | NorbeY | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | โ๐ท๐Ferka๐โ๐ธ | 50% | 18 |
| #2 | Joltiโ | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | NorbeY | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorbeY | 12 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Joltiโ | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | โ๐ท๐Ferka๐โ๐ธ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorbeY | 271 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Joltiโ | 80 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | โ๐ท๐Ferka๐โ๐ธ | 26 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NorbeY | +0.85 | 49 | 66 |
| #2 | M1LU | +0.01 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Joltiโ | -0.18 | 64 | 72 |
| #4 | โ๐ท๐Ferka๐โ๐ธ | -2.05 | 62 | 56 |





