








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1219 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1490 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,274 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | M1LU | 50% | 18 |
| #8 | γγΌγ’γ³ | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | Benccce | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | CSK | 24% | 17 |
| #11 | MarkOOβ’ | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anya hadd wΓ©pΓ©zek β | 5 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | γγΌγ’γ³ | 4 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | M1LU | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | NorbeY | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | MarkOOβ’ | 2 | 0.0052 |





