








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 247 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1047 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1939 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1733 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1264 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1081 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,768 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loba's son | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | βπ·πFerkaπβπΈ | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | M1LU | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loba's son | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | βπ·πFerkaπβπΈ | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | M1LU | 46% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1LU | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | βπ·πFerkaπβπΈ | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1LU | 323 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | Loba's son | 44 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | βπ·πFerkaπβπΈ | 20 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loba's son | +3.66 | 92 | 37 |
| #2 | NorbeY | +1.29 | 56 | 68 |
| #3 | M1LU | -0.59 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | βπ·πFerkaπβπΈ | -1.41 | 60 | 53 |





