










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 27% |
| Smokes | 148 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 289 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 213 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,836 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchel | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Jordan | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Livi | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Jouseppe | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | skip | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchel | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Jordan | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | Livi | 40% | 5 |
| #4 | Jouseppe | 31% | 16 |
| #5 | skip | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchel | 6 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Jordan | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mitchel | 84 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jordan | 71 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jouseppe | 43 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | skip | 21 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Livi | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jouseppe | +2.04 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | Livi | +1.71 | 90 | 36 |
| #3 | Jordan | -0.09 | 73 | 46 |
| #4 | s l o w verb | -1.04 | 63 | 33 |
| #5 | skip | -2.17 | 86 | 35 |





