








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2096 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 836 | 15% |
| Smokes | 925 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2248 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1624 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $544,867 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asia Food | 71% | 14 |
| #2 | _YungHyper | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | sPain1 | 53% | 34 |
| #4 | Feuerriese | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Tymx372 | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Feuerriese | 50% | 14 |
| #5 | Tymx372 | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | LordCrunch | 49% | 144 |
| #7 | L1kes | 48% | 23 |
| #8 | CerebrateNargil | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _YungHyper | 17 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Tymx372 | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | LordCrunch | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Asia Food | 2 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | CerebrateNargil | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordCrunch | 366 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | _YungHyper | 185 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Tymx372 | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | sPain1 | 74 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | L1kes | 62 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feuerriese | +3.94 | 82 | 51 |
| #2 | DON'T TRUST ME IM NOOB | +1.15 | 51 | 53 |
| #3 | sPain1 | +0.94 | 29 | 53 |
| #4 | Asia Food | +0.06 | 40 | 33 |
| #5 | Tymx372 | -0.16 | 29 | 57 |





