








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1153 | 32% |
| Smokes | 986 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 806 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,184 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRK | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | edavid | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Chugi | 64% | 47 |
| #4 | MarriP | 60% | 68 |
| #5 | Knarkku | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MarriP | 60% | 68 |
| #5 | Knarkku | 59% | 32 |
| #6 | Johnhood | 57% | 56 |
| #7 | uwu | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | simppi | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnhood | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | MarriP | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | uwu | 2 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | Chugi | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | edavid | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarriP | 249 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | edavid | 190 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | Johnhood | 145 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chugi | 123 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | MRK | 115 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRK | +2.99 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | simppi | +2.15 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Knarkku | +1.23 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | edavid | +1.11 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | MarriP | +0.51 | 75 | 61 |





