








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2800 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2022 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2110 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2263 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1982 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,968 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 411 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steppi | 72% | 36 |
| #2 | MarriP | 63% | 46 |
| #3 | blå :D | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | Gorppa | 60% | 35 |
| #5 | edavid | 58% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | simppi | 52% | 52 |
| #8 | Johnhood | 51% | 75 |
| #9 | uwu | 50% | 20 |
| #10 | Knarkku | 49% | 67 |
| #11 | kevsu | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnhood | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | edavid | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Chugi | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Knarkku | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Gorppa | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | edavid | 596 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #2 | Chugi | 393 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Johnhood | 182 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | Knarkku | 150 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | MarriP | 142 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MRK | +3.00 | 86 | 66 |
| #2 | simppi | +2.41 | 90 | 62 |
| #3 | edavid | -0.04 | 56 | 76 |
| #4 | blå :D | -0.43 | 58 | 67 |
| #5 | steppi | -0.53 | 73 | 59 |





