










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1954 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2580 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2857 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2080 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,430,056 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego- | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | navy_jaguar | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | bregg | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | Retro | 49% | 90 |
| #5 | Razor | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ego- | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | navy_jaguar | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | bregg | 55% | 82 |
| #4 | Retro | 49% | 90 |
| #5 | Razor | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Retro | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | bregg | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Ego- | 6 | 0.0142 |
| #4 | navy_jaguar | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Razor | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bregg | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | navy_jaguar | 145 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | Retro | 139 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ego- | 89 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | Razor | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bregg | +3.95 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | Retro | +1.74 | 73 | 39 |
| #3 | Ego- | +1.06 | 92 | 65 |
| #4 | whyNotPtoughneigh | +0.26 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | navy_jaguar | -0.43 | 36 | 48 |





