








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 686 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3820 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5337 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4164 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3107 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2929 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,895 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1681 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 52% | 288 |
| #2 | Rock fjellstad | 50% | 203 |
| #3 | CHARTERESPEN | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | bluwafl | 48% | 227 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 40% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 52% | 288 |
| #2 | Rock fjellstad | 50% | 203 |
| #3 | CHARTERESPEN | 49% | 327 |
| #4 | bluwafl | 48% | 227 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 40% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluwafl | 20 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | CHARTERESPEN | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 8 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 655 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #2 | bluwafl | 576 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | CHARTERESPEN | 366 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 225 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 81 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | +4.66 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | bluwafl | +4.00 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Steinar Wangen | -0.72 | 52 | 55 |
| #4 | CHARTERESPEN | -2.79 | 32 | 51 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | -2.85 | 56 | 42 |





