








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2296 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2251 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3844 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4112 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3994 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,554 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 49% | 288 |
| #2 | Steinar Wangen | 49% | 327 |
| #3 | bluwafl | 48% | 236 |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 46% | 207 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 49% | 288 |
| #2 | Steinar Wangen | 49% | 327 |
| #3 | bluwafl | 48% | 236 |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 46% | 207 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluwafl | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Steinar Wangen | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinar Wangen | 999 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | 655 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | bluwafl | 581 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | Rock fjellstad | 232 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | Tuco Salamanca | 59 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wet_Pssy_Fart | +4.60 | 76 | 61 |
| #2 | bluwafl | +4.02 | 79 | 58 |
| #3 | Steinar Wangen | -1.07 | 51 | 55 |
| #4 | Tuco Salamanca | -2.75 | 56 | 39 |
| #5 | CHARTERESPEN | -2.89 | 32 | 51 |





