








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
275 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 191 | 28% |
| Smokes | 139 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 185 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 169 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,300 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jappe | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | tr1pb | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | 1 | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 64% | 11 |
| #5 | jz | 60% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | OskuRS | 50% | 6 |
| #8 | Twitch.tv/maxvep | 40% | 5 |
| #9 | saNTtu | 0% | 2 |
| #10 | Poksu | 0% | 2 |
| #11 | Jimb0 | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jz | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jz | 66 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | 1 | 53 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #3 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | 46 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Twitch.tv/maxvep | 27 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | jappe | 25 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1 | +3.05 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | jappe | +2.91 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | OskuRS | +1.19 | 91 | 48 |
| #4 | ruoska CSGO500 | +0.98 | 81 | 46 |
| #5 | dmoN w tr4cksuit | -0.15 | 71 | 73 |





