








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 610 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4990 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5661 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5521 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5333 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,742,078 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 826 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1sh | 60% | 91 |
| #2 | Sneazy | 58% | 100 |
| #3 | KyleHypz | 57% | 120 |
| #4 | RootinTootinPutin | 55% | 101 |
| #5 | Jason | 48% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jason | 27 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Sneazy | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | KyleHypz | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | RootinTootinPutin | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | f1sh | 6 | 0.0031 |





