








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1362 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2193 | 24% |
| Smokes | 741 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 3048 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3169 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,269 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 889 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarkVenom | 74% | 99 |
| #2 | f1sh | 68% | 208 |
| #3 | KyleHypz | 67% | 123 |
| #4 | RootinTootinPutin | 60% | 101 |
| #5 | Patrick_Star | 58% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | RootinTootinPutin | 60% | 101 |
| #5 | Patrick_Star | 58% | 100 |
| #6 | Jason | 58% | 59 |
| #7 | ♥ f1shy ♥ | 56% | 18 |
| #8 | diejappie | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1sh | 30 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Jason | 20 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | Patrick_Star | 16 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | KyleHypz | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | RootinTootinPutin | 13 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f1sh | 601 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Patrick_Star | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | KyleHypz | 250 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | RootinTootinPutin | 136 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jason | 125 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneazy | +4.33 | 71 | 52 |
| #2 | KyleHypz | +2.60 | 65 | 52 |
| #3 | Patrick_Star | +0.83 | 65 | 57 |
| #4 | f1sh | +0.43 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | RootinTootinPutin | -0.49 | 74 | 38 |





