








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,681 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 37% |
| Smokes | 343 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 350 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 370 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,686 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPL1T | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | pouet pouet | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | jiheM | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | STN | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Fantin | 67% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jiheM | 69% | 16 |
| #4 | STN | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | Fantin | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | Sobad | 67% | 12 |
| #7 | Polo l'abricot | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polo l'abricot | 3 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | jiheM | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sobad | 58 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | jiheM | 54 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | 33 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | SPL1T | 26 | 0.39 | 1 min |
| #5 | pouet pouet | 24 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SPL1T | +3.25 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | LeFtZeN | +2.98 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Polo l'abricot | +1.94 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | jiheM | +1.64 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | Sobad | -0.65 | 63 | 43 |





