








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4117 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3689 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2872 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,113,197 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 397 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IseeUdere | 65% | 34 |
| #2 | fiftee cent$$$ | 58% | 96 |
| #3 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Bountyhunterr* | 56% | 68 |
| #5 | v^3 | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | william bong II | 54% | 41 |
| #7 | 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌vscake | 52% | 44 |
| #8 | Advil | 50% | 20 |
| #9 | Dyldo | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | Juaneria | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiftee cent$$$ | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | william bong II | 11 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌vscake | 9 | 0.0098 |
| #4 | Bountyhunterr* | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Dyldo | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiftee cent$$$ | 436 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bountyhunterr* | 326 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | IseeUdere | 163 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | R8 BANANA CANNON | 118 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | william bong II | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IseeUdere | +5.50 | 80 | 83 |
| #2 | fiftee cent$$$ | +3.18 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | R8 BANANA CANNON | +2.09 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | Tarwars | +0.93 | 77 | 61 |
| #5 | v^3 | +0.59 | 63 | 60 |





