








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1297 | 42% |
| Smokes | 676 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 381 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,318 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 723 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌vscake | 60 | 0.0214 |
| #2 | fiftee cent$$$ | 29 | 0.0170 |
| #3 | I have herpis | 10 | 0.0351 |
| #4 | IseeUdere | 5 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Tarwars | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fiftee cent$$$ | 325 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Tarwars | 131 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | 𝖌𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖌vscake | 96 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bountyhunterr* | 96 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #5 | IseeUdere | 84 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I have herpis | +7.52 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | fiftee cent$$$ | +5.91 | 85 | 65 |
| #3 | IseeUdere | +5.00 | 81 | 78 |
| #4 | Tarwars | +3.16 | 75 | 55 |
| #5 | Bountyhunterr* | +1.19 | 57 | 59 |





