








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1642 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1792 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2169 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1829 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,732 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tomtS | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | ♡ K Ä H K Ö N E N ♡ | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | nouska_ | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | Samyo ✌ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Redmeat | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raakkeni | 151 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | ♡ K Ä H K Ö N E N ♡ | 148 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | tomtS | 124 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| #4 | nouska_ | 123 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | triple6 ja seksimania! | 72 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samyo ✌ | +2.28 | 72 | 64 |
| #2 | slebe | +1.34 | 72 | 61 |
| #3 | ♡ K Ä H K Ö N E N ♡ | +0.86 | 40 | 75 |
| #4 | ⒹⒾⓈⒸⓄ | +0.24 | 65 | 69 |
| #5 | Hold my Negev | -0.03 | 27 | 62 |





