








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
644 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 29% |
| Smokes | 702 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 532 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,449 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | playstationpizza | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | Cluuless | 100% | 6 |
| #3 | kam | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | wist | 83% | 6 |
| #5 | ry^_^ | 80% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | sletong | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | Dewey Fan | 50% | 4 |
| #11 | puppygirl ❤ | 41% | 17 |
| #12 | Qui9 | 33% | 15 |
| #13 | tango | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tango | 2 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Dewey Fan | 1 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | puppygirl ❤ | 60 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | sletong | 44 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cluuless | 34 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Khouse1007 | 33 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | virx1 | 26 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kam | +3.99 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | Reginaldboons | +3.24 | 79 | 36 |
| #3 | puppygirl ❤ | +1.67 | 64 | 58 |
| #4 | Khouse1007 | +1.63 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | wist | +1.23 | 58 | 56 |





