








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
84 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23 | 35% |
| Smokes | 21 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 20 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1 | 2% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,670 of utility $19 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJ(dk) | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | β
π¦πΈπΆπΆπ²β
| 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Fynboen | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Lauenborg06 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Danske | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | β
π¦πΈπΆπΆπ²β
| 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Fynboen | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | Lauenborg06 | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Danske | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | Luiz | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danske | 3 | 0.0375 |
| #2 | β
π¦πΈπΆπΆπ²β
| 3 | 0.1579 |
| #3 | MJ(dk) | 1 | 0.0278 |
| #4 | Fynboen | 1 | 0.0526 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lauenborg06 | 18 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #2 | Danske | 16 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #3 | MJ(dk) | 6 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Luiz | 5 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fynboen | 3 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJ(dk) | +12.49 | 85 | 7 |
| #2 | Fynboen | +2.05 | 90 | 68 |
| #3 | Lauenborg06 | +0.69 | 39 | 24 |
| #4 | Luiz | -0.17 | 37 | 81 |
| #5 | β
π¦πΈπΆπΆπ²β
| -1.96 | 22 | 26 |





