








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 852 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 347 | 41% |
| Smokes | 126 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 252 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 127 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,562 of utility $2 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤Gender Dysphoria.. WHYYYYYY | 46% | 82 |
| #2 | ✪China#1 | 39% | 83 |
| #3 | $B | De_Ancient | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | Mimse | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤Gender Dysphoria.. WHYYYYYY | 46% | 82 |
| #2 | ✪China#1 | 39% | 83 |
| #3 | $B | De_Ancient | 38% | 29 |
| #4 | Mimse | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪China#1 | 28 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | ❤Gender Dysphoria.. WHYYYYYY | 26 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | $B | De_Ancient | 12 | 0.0208 |
| #4 | Mimse | 9 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪China#1 | 282 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | ❤Gender Dysphoria.. WHYYYYYY | 84 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | $B | De_Ancient | 77 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mimse | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJ(dk) | +0.91 | 66 | 20 |
| #2 | Mimse | +0.20 | 83 | 32 |
| #3 | ✪China#1 | -0.02 | 31 | 57 |
| #4 | ❤Gender Dysphoria.. WHYYYYYY | -0.64 | 49 | 28 |
| #5 | $B | De_Ancient | -3.67 | 18 | 45 |





