










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 3 matches | 1,468 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 2 different maps


Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
21 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 60 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8 | 13% |
| Smokes | 9 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 23 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 20 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $16,640 of utility $260 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJON | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | hajlol_ | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | Frolle | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJON | 50% | 2 |
| #2 | hajlol_ | 33% | 3 |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | 0% | 2 |
| #4 | Frolle | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DJON | 12 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #2 | hajlol_ | 5 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Ketamin Ken | 2 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Frolle | 1 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hajlol_ | +1.91 | 76 | 54 |
| #2 | DJON | +0.60 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Yoski | -1.69 | 41 | 22 |
| #4 | Frolle | -1.93 | 46 | 18 |
| #5 | Ketamin Ken | -7.21 | 25 | 22 |





