








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1633 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1313 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1768 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1164 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,816 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tinju | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | Barrack_Obama | 54% | 138 |
| #7 | AFE | 53% | 17 |
| #8 | jutt | 51% | 96 |
| #9 | flying power @hofer | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barrack_Obama | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | flying power @hofer | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | jutt | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Fab | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Tinju | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barrack_Obama | 397 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | jutt | 152 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fab | 132 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | flying power @hofer | 128 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | AFE | 83 | 0.23 | 2 min |





