








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 280 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 886 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2171 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1472 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3876 | 46% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,048,564 of utility $320 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | erock | 47% | 70 |
| #14 | LowCiel | 46% | 28 |
| #15 | M1ckW1ck | 46% | 41 |
| #16 | sloppy bill on the pill | 46% | 39 |
| #17 | Gearslayer360 | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JordanWhattt | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Sinbad | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Carrie | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | erock | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | 3 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrie | 770 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | JordanWhattt | 573 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #3 | CraMdeN | 390 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | M1ckW1ck | 348 | 0.38 | 7 min |
| #5 | Sinbad | 302 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toob | +1.54 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | CraMdeN | +1.42 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | moneyg789 | +1.35 | 44 | 61 |
| #4 | Gearslayer360 | +1.31 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | the|Supreme | +1.23 | 62 | 72 |





