








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 228 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2505 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2780 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2846 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2509 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,357,635 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 155 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lotus.TTV | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Walugs | 51% | 195 |
| #3 | Ryan Gosling | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | Pépouze | 47% | 213 |
| #5 | Ninotar | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lotus.TTV | 54% | 28 |
| #2 | Walugs | 51% | 195 |
| #3 | Ryan Gosling | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | Pépouze | 47% | 213 |
| #5 | Ninotar | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pépouze | 29 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Walugs | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Lotus.TTV | 7 | 0.0125 |
| #4 | Ninotar | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walugs | 642 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | Pépouze | 630 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | Ryan Gosling | 204 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | Lotus.TTV | 48 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ninotar | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Walugs | +0.42 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | Sodium bigourdant | +0.22 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | Pépouze | -0.28 | 42 | 77 |
| #4 | Lotus.TTV | -1.87 | 16 | 32 |
| #5 | Ryan Gosling | -1.96 | 22 | 60 |





