








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1407 | 47% |
| Smokes | 750 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 248 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 584 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,270 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | jdm324 | 58% | 99 |
| #3 | Atlas^✪ | 56% | 78 |
| #4 | Chauswag❤ | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | NightLight | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Chauswag❤ | 48% | 93 |
| #5 | NightLight | 48% | 29 |
| #6 | Karasu | 38% | 50 |
| #7 | y33tg0wD | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Floopyy | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karasu | 11 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Atlas^✪ | 10 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | jdm324 | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Chauswag❤ | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 3 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karasu | 227 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #2 | Atlas^✪ | 224 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | jdm324 | 192 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Chauswag❤ | 104 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | y33tg0wD | 33 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lxlac | +2.79 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | NightLight | +1.98 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | jdm324 | +0.96 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | Karasu | -0.25 | 80 | 41 |
| #5 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | -1.02 | 82 | 40 |





