








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1157 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1762 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2532 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 934 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1321 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $565,022 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | lxlac | 56% | 78 |
| #3 | jdm324 | 55% | 102 |
| #4 | y33tg0wD | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | Chauswag❤ | 45% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | NightLight | 43% | 46 |
| #7 | syrxnge | 43% | 77 |
| #8 | ZeNith | 42% | 12 |
| #9 | Karasu | 41% | 41 |
| #10 | Bh1kari | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chauswag❤ | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Karasu | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | jdm324 | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 4 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | lxlac | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syrxnge | 225 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | lxlac | 202 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Karasu | 192 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | jdm324 | 180 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chauswag❤ | 110 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZeNith | +3.63 | 97 | 54 |
| #2 | syrxnge | +3.05 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | lxlac | +2.94 | 84 | 61 |
| #4 | NightLight | +0.85 | 75 | 44 |
| #5 | jdm324 | +0.73 | 68 | 49 |





