








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 624 | 20% |
| Smokes | 696 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 711 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1085 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,039 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | jdm324 | 51% | 101 |
| #3 | lxlac | 48% | 93 |
| #4 | ZeNith | 45% | 11 |
| #5 | Atlas^✪ | 45% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Karasu | 44% | 45 |
| #7 | NightLight | 43% | 60 |
| #8 | syrxnge | 41% | 68 |
| #9 | y33tg0wD | 38% | 29 |
| #10 | Bh1kari | 9% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atlas^✪ | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | jdm324 | 13 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Karasu | 10 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | y33tg0wD | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | [Akwa] Milkyray Gooner™ | 4 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atlas^✪ | 321 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | lxlac | 247 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | syrxnge | 206 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Karasu | 193 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | jdm324 | 178 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syrxnge | +3.34 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | lxlac | +2.82 | 85 | 61 |
| #3 | ZeNith | +2.27 | 95 | 50 |
| #4 | NightLight | +1.21 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | y33tg0wD | +1.02 | 84 | 31 |





