








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 33% |
| Smokes | 150 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 94 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $72,127 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | LoaF | 38% | 8 |
| #11 | Douwidius2 | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | Revix | 29% | 7 |
| #13 | ignas.lt | 25% | 8 |
| #14 | Blobsolo | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Douwidius2 | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | LoaF | 3 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Revix | 3 | 0.0219 |
| #4 | ignas.lt | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Spuckie14 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | damper | 47 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | Douwidius2 | 29 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | LoaF | 28 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Spuckie14 | 21 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | RandomGuyNL | 21 | 0.08 | 0 min |





