








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2562 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1700 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2592 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1186 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1576 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,984 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 427 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bussenrijder | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | Vlieger29 | 68% | 57 |
| #3 | Pinguuu | 63% | 63 |
| #4 | DefDeef | 62% | 157 |
| #5 | Jorik | 61% | 190 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Spuckie14 | 47% | 110 |
| #10 | [REDACTED] | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | Fridge | 43% | 21 |
| #12 | Douwidius1 | 37% | 19 |
| #13 | Douwidius2 | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jorik | +5.71 | 45 | 40 |
| #2 | Bussenrijder | +4.55 | 37 | 31 |
| #3 | DefDeef | +2.82 | 47 | 38 |
| #4 | Douwidius1 | +1.99 | 51 | 34 |
| #5 | Nethermonke | +1.73 | 34 | 40 |





