








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1481 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2006 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2054 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2563 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,823,951 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3033 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | 58% | 31 |
| #2 | Lewis | 57% | 100 |
| #3 | Doc_Leviosa | 57% | 181 |
| #4 | Apatscho207 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Carlo | 54% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Apatscho207 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Carlo | 54% | 95 |
| #6 | zai | 50% | 115 |
| #7 | Dechorro | 49% | 72 |
| #8 | UMBREON | 44% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lewis | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Doc_Leviosa | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | UMBREON | 8 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | zai | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Carlo | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carlo | 237 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Doc_Leviosa | 180 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lewis | 175 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | zai | 138 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | UMBREON | 66 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝖝𝖃๖ۣۜD𝕽𝔼𝕬𝕸 | +4.34 | 71 | 51 |
| #2 | UMBREON | +2.99 | 92 | 43 |
| #3 | Doc_Leviosa | +2.79 | 73 | 45 |
| #4 | Lewis | +2.19 | 81 | 50 |
| #5 | Atschuhar | +1.46 | 81 | 37 |





