








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 236 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 91 | 39% |
| Smokes | 55 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 74 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 16 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $47,771 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happycamper | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | The Milkman | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | ThrowCheese | 17% | 6 |
| #4 | Paul Scholes | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happycamper | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | The Milkman | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | ThrowCheese | 17% | 6 |
| #4 | Paul Scholes | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Happycamper | 3 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | Paul Scholes | 1 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | 16 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Happycamper | 12 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | The Milkman | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Paul Scholes | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | +3.32 | 76 | 60 |
| #2 | PERVARIS | +0.86 | 30 | 51 |
| #3 | Happycamper | -2.30 | 35 | 48 |
| #4 | The Milkman | -2.85 | 8 | 39 |
| #5 | Paul Scholes | -3.09 | 29 | 63 |





