








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,505 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 356 | 24% |
| Smokes | 264 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 366 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,336 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | 46% | 94 |
| #2 | Paul Scholes | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | Skrimma | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Happycamper | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | 46% | 94 |
| #2 | Paul Scholes | 44% | 89 |
| #3 | Skrimma | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | Happycamper | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paul Scholes | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | ThrowCheese | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Happycamper | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #4 | Skrimma | 2 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | 250 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Paul Scholes | 180 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Happycamper | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Skrimma | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThrowCheese | +3.59 | 74 | 64 |
| #2 | Paul Scholes | -0.56 | 42 | 55 |
| #3 | Happycamper | -1.21 | 25 | 46 |
| #4 | Skrimma | -1.40 | 56 | 11 |
| #5 | The Milkman | -4.78 | 13 | 35 |





