








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 158 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1491 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1885 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1712 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $644,808 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽 | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Atortosa | 69% | 13 |
| #3 | unlucky | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | ϴlliε | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | 61% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | unlucky | 65% | 23 |
| #4 | ϴlliε | 64% | 25 |
| #5 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | 61% | 28 |
| #6 | NoKi | 60% | 25 |
| #7 | ✪ Minervons | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ϴlliε | 197 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #2 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | NoKi | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Atortosa | 34 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | 👽👽👽👽👽👽👽👽 | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unlucky | +2.36 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | (ง︡'-'︠)ง | +2.32 | 92 | 65 |
| #3 | NoKi | +2.09 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Mapinha | +1.64 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | ✪ Minervons | +0.67 | 66 | 59 |





